Well now, for the first time, well, EVER, I’ve actually got something to report on with regards to the WWF/WoTC lawsuit! That’s right, after countless columns of basically saying, “Uh, nothing’s happened yet…”, I’ve got some solid news for a change. That’s going to be covered in the second paragraph of today’s Across the Board, though, since I have to use this first paragraph to grab the readers’ attentions. That’s what my college Journalism teacher used to say, anyway. So here goes, my one-liner that will hook you for the rest of the column: Jumbo Shrimp is a contradictory name. Ha! Now try to resist reading through the rest of my column!As promised, the update on the WWF/WoTC lawsuit. It appears as if there’s been a settlement reached. WoTC and Mike Fitzgerald (the alleged creator of the game engine that the WWF card game uses) will be paid royalties from all sales of the game, along with giving Fitzgerald rightful acknowledgment for his design of the game. In addition to this, the release date for the WWF CCG will be delayed until August 1. There’s a press release up on the WoTC website if you wish to read it for yourself. I find that bit about the WWF CCG being pushed back to August interesting, because that way it won’t be competing directly against the WCW CCG coming out, which is produced by WoTC. Hmm….
I’ve noticed recently that there’s a direct relationship between some Magic players and the music that they listen to. I have three separate friends that feel that they have a lucky song (should have heard that at Origins last year: three completely different songs blasting at the same time), Trademark has a post up in the General Discussion forum asking what kind of music people listen to when playing Magic, and there’s always the people that walk around major tournaments with CD players plugged into their head. I myself have a song that I listen to occasionally after tournaments, but it also has a significance outside of Magic, so I’m not sure if that counts. The song, by the way, is Turn the Page, not the Bob Seiger version, but the Metallica one. I’m not certain as to what the exact connection is, but there definitely seems to be one. Maybe I’m just looking for conspiracies around every turn, but I honestly believe that I’m on to something.
Speaking of Origins (well, I said it once in the last paragraph, anyway), it’s going to be the focus of every good player that isn’t going to be connected with Nationals this year. I’ll be the first to admit that I’d rather be going to Nationals, but it’s not like I’ve got much of a choice in the matter. After all, TemptingElf has suffered through countless PTQs and other major tournaments that I’ve insisted we go to, so it’s only fair if I go to Origins to cheer her on, right? Besides, the problem of not qualifying at Regionals (stupid mirror matches…) is a rather large stumbling block. Anyway, I didn’t bring up Origins to look back at past failures to qualify.
No, I brought Origins up to encourage as many MOTL members as possible to come to Columbus, Ohio, this year to compete in the Amateur Championships. The only thing that you need to qualify for the tournament is to not have any Pro Tour points whatsoever. That basically means that, if you haven’t competed in a major Pro Tour event, you qualify. You have to sign up, of course, but that’s so simple it’s almost not worth mentioning. I’ll be there signing autographs; well, no, I won’t, but I WILL be there, as will other MOTLers that I know about. Maybe I’ll just get this gigantic sign that reads “MOTL Origins Booth” or something along those lines. When I’m not playing Magic, I’ll probably be playing Warhammer or Shadowrun, so you could probably find me at one of those exhibits at one time or another. Just be sure to at least consider going to Origins this year if you can make it, as it’s truly a remarkable experience.
By the way, if anyone that’s going to Origins feels the need to draft at ungodly hours of the morning, I’ll hook you up with my hotel address and room number. Just don’t come by between four and five in the morning; that’s the hour that I’ve designated for sleep. That’s something to keep in mind for Origins; if you DO go, you won’t be sleeping much if you play your cards right.
I realize that I’ve posted on some rather serious subjects in my last few columns, and to be honest, I don’t really like having to write columns like those. So to lighten the mood a bit, I’m going to do something completely different for the rest of this Across the Board. There’s a post up in the General Discussion forum talking about a Magic: The Gathering movie, so I’m actually going to sit here and cast the thing. So here goes nothing, I suppose:
URZA: I don’t even need to think about this one, to tell you the truth. I see Liam Neeson as the perfect Urza. Neeson, for those of you that don’t know, played Qui-Gon Jinn in The Phantom Menace, as well as Oskar Schindler in Schindler’s List. He’d be perfect for the brooding genius that Urza is represented as in The Brother’s War.
MISHRA: Mishra was a bit more difficult to cast than Urza. He needs to be someone who can portray a character that isn’t as much evil as he is driven. After all, Mishra was merely a leader of a warlike people until Gix came along. Therefore, I chose Jeremy Irons, who plays the character of such a warlord perfectly, and the sadistic side of Mishra that is carefully cultivated by the priests of Gix would be conveyed extremely well.
TAWNOS: Despite what TemptingElf insisted, Leonardo DiCaprio would NOT make a good Tawnos, as DiCaprio, well, he can’t act. Anyway, that left me with a void that needed to be filled. To me, Tawnos was the hardest character of all to cast. I finally decided on Keanu Reeves, mainly because of the work that he performed on The Matrix. In my humble opinion, he would be able to play the part of the loyal apprentice perfectly.
ASHNOD: Hmm, a beautiful yet truly twisted woman. If she was older than she is, my first pick would be Christina Ricci, but since she’s not, the nod goes to Nicole Kidman. Think of Kidman in the movie Batman Forever. She played a psychologist with a “thing” for Batman. Take that character, make her a hell of a lot crueler with that “thing” for causing pain, and you’ve got Ashnod.
GIX: Gix would, of course, be a computer-generated creature, but the voice would be Tommy Lee Jones. With the appropriate amount of echo and pitch added, of course.
TITANIA: Natalie Portman would be a good choice in my opinion, at least for the version of Titania that is the living puppet.
Thought for the Day: If Yoda is a muppet, then why doesn’t he hang out with Kermit and Gonzo? Is he too good for them? Is he too high and mighty because he’s a Jedi, hmm?
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posted June 16, 2000 09:09 PM
. I swear templar, doesnt our sealed playing keep you satisfied? 
